Please don't be angry.. - Part 19

I quickly got on whatever I could put on within thirty seconds.
"Wait, he has to be here!" I could hear the fear in Cyr's voice. Cyr can be a little awkward, but Toby's one of the biggest Youtubers ever. He'd crush him.
I walked out of the bedroom, looking for anyone else. When I peeked into the next room, I saw Jack's adorable little face sleeping. It made me smile for how ridiculously innocent he looked. Then I remembered what was currently happening. Wait, what about my phone? I thought. My hands reached down the pockets of whatever I was wearing. They wrapped around my phone and a sigh escaped from my lips. If I were to lose my cell phone, especially when this was happening...
I saw Cyr come from one of the corners of the hallway. His eyes widened at the sight of my phone. He trembled with his words, "T-Toby didn't text you, did he?" Why is Cyr such a wimp? It's not like Toby would hurt him. He'd understand he was drunk, and I can't even get pregnant anyhow.
I shook my head. "Nope," I said. A sigh escaped from his lips. "I... guess I'll just go home and pray Toby hasn't gotten up yet," I mumble. Cyr nods.
I take slow, dramatic steps towards him. I've always wanted to do this, and now with the power of being Toby's girlfriend I can.
My fingers slide up his arm and see the chills he's getting from my touch. I spin on my heel and touch his neck with my fingers. "You're not... scared of him." My lips hover right beside his ear. "Are you, Vincent?" That was so fun. I'm not even that type of person.
Cyr swallows and spins around, once again enclosing me in his embrace. "No, I just don't want anything to happen to you," he says.
I become aware that he's treating me like this again. I put my hands on his shoulders and shift us both so we're walking throughout the living room, leading myself to the door. The entire room is trashed.
"I mean, I can take on Toby," he says again, finishing his last statement.
A grin creeps up onto my face. We're almost at the door. "Hmm, strong little Cyr, are ya'?" I ask, smugly.
He's also enjoying this. "You bet, baby." I take the last few steps to the landing. I think this is the correct way to get Cyr to do things, I think. Seduce him. I try to keep a smile from breaking through my seductive look. I'm such a terrible person.
My fingers just almost touch the door when I remember something. It's dead silent. "Oh, and Cyr," I spin around on my heel and move determinedly towards him and this time I embrace him. "Toby better not find out about this, you hear me?" Cyr nods slowly. I kiss him, hard, pick up my bag and leave. I can't help laughing my ass off when I get to the sidewalk.
I continue walking. I suppose I'm gonna have to walk to Toby's. That won't be too hard.

I finally get to Toby's and I slowly open the door. Anxiety is building up inside of me. My head peeks through the door. "Toby?" I whisper loudly. No reply. "Toby?!" I say louder, but still in a whisper. No reply. I let out of a sigh of relief and continue walking inside. The door shuts quietly and I tip toe, heading to the kitchen. Suddenly, I hear a voice.
"Hi, Ellie," the voice says. My head swings back and I look at the top of the stairs. It's Toby.
"Hi," I reply. Toby takes slow steps down the stairs, keeping his hands on the railing. "So, where were you?" I could see he already knows. I take a few steps closer to him.
"Fell asleep at the party, woke up in the middle of the night and went home," I lie and admit at the same time.
Toby takes one more step towards me and we're a few inches away. "Oh, I see," he says like he already knows. He probably does. I'm dead. "So is that why I woke up and saw you in bed with Cyr?" says Toby.
My face drains and I start choking on my words. "I..."
"Save it," Toby cuts me off. "I know what you did. You think being seduced and kissing a girl is worse than having sex with one of my FRIENDS?!" Toby's raising his voice now. He doesn't do that much. I can see the stress in his arms like he's going to hurt me. He won't do it, though.
"I.. I was drunk," I argue.
Toby puts on a sarcastic smile, "Heh, yeah, and I was seduced and you did this." He lifts up my arm and tears start filling my eyes. Ouch. That stung. I rip my arms out of his grip and turn around. He realizes what he just said. "Ellie... I-I'm sorry..."
I cross my arms. "Whatever," I say as I make my way out the door.
"No! Ellie! I forgive you, I'm really sorry, please!" Toby's saying more words but I just keep walking.

OOOOOOOH - Part 18

I awoke, reaching for Toby without opening my eyes. My fingers seeked out only to find more bedsheets. My eyes shot open. I realized I was at my house, without Toby.
I sighed and looked around the room. My diamond, which was now secure on a necklace, was laying lightly on my chest. My fingers wrapped around it. I wanted Toby. I don't like being without him. How pathetic is that?
I put my feet on the floor and reached for my phone, like usual.
"Good morning beautiful :)" A text read from Toby. I couldn't help but smile.
I replied, "Aw aw aw I love you".
I dragged myself down the hallway. Jamie must be still asleep. A burst of shock went through my body as my phone vibrated.
"Hey it's a youtubers bday tonight wanna come?" A text from Toby. Ooh! I've never been to one of those. What if Olga's there? What if I get hit on? What if- Okay, I need to stop worrying.
I replied with a simple, "Yes! I'd love to!"
 I was waiting for an invitation over to his house to hang out, but instead I got, "I'd love to hang but I have to do some stuff for TobyGames"
My smile turned into a frown. "Ok :(" I replied and put my phone on the table, searching the web. It wasn't until 6 hours of nothingness that my phone rang. I dived to pick it up, until I noticed Jamie did.
"Hellooooo?" She said in a silly voice, mocking me. I frowned. Jamie's exactly like a sister.
"Give it back!" I said as I fought, but she kept pushing me away.
"Oh, nooooo," Jamie began, "Ellie is not heeeere."
I made a bunch of mumbling sounds. Jamie laughed and let go of me. "She's right here," Jamie said, passing the phone to me.
"Hello?" I said, regaining my breath.
"Ellie!" Toby said with excitement. My smile grew wider.
"Hey, babe," I sat on the couch.
"You ready?" I heard Toby smile as I looked down at myself. I was wearing an old tank top and PJ pants. 
"Uhhhm," I said and heard Toby laugh.
"It's okay, just put on something nice. I'll come get you in ten minutes?" Said Toby.
I nodded, then realized I was on the phone. "Sure! Love ya'." And we hung up. I ran to go get something nice, since all my clothes are barbaric and ugly.
I tried something normal, threw a sweater overtop and had skinny jeans. I heard Toby's car pull up just as I finished straightening my hair.
Toby let himself in, and I heard him walk down the hallway and open my door. I was just putting my makeup and such away when he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me, "You're so beautiful."
I smiled and we drove our way to someone's house. It just happened to be Cyr. I've always known Cyr,  he's funny and attractive.  But, aren't all male YouTubers?
I was still on my phone when we drove up. This house is familiar. I've been here with Jack. It seems like a bunch of people were already there.
Toby and I got out and he put his arm around me, knowing that I don't like people. As we entered the familiar house, I got stares at my arm. They did remove the bandages, but the scars are never going away.
I got a smile from Jack. He knew that being in a room full of people would make me have an anxiety attack. He hugged me to calm me down. "Hi, Ellie," he smiled towards me.
I took in a big breath of air, "Hi, Jack." I heard him whisper something to Toby about me being okay. Toby nodded.
Jack held up a drink. "Toby and Ellie are here! Woo!" He said as everyone else here cheered. It made me smile a bit.
I saw Cyr and my heart rate sped up a bit at how incredibly attractive he is. He smiled at me, and I looked down, feeling nervous. He walked up to us. I noticed Cyr's intimidation from Toby.
"Hey, Toby," He said. Toby waved with his free hand. "And, who's this?" Cyr smiled and I wonder if he could hear my heart beating. But I'm with Toby. Toby. I love Toby. Not Cyr.
"Ellie," I mumbled while looking at the ground, trying to hide my blushed face.
Cyr smiled. "Hi, Ellie," He said sweetly.
"Hi," I said back, trying not to flail my arms and scream and cry and say, "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!"
Throughout the night, I hung out with Youtubers, made a few laughs, and got a bit... drunk. This was a crazy party for people who aren't oompa loompa's living in Jersey Shore, but simple minded small internet celebrities.
Toby was sitting on the couch when I saw him pass out. It made me giggle a little bit. I was leaning against a wall, alone, wasted, when Cyr came up to me. "Having fun?" He smiled. I nodded. I don't think I've had this much fun in a while.
Cyr and I were talking, I was still fangirling on the inside a little bit. Someone came and accidentally hit Cyr. Cyr fell over, trapping me with his embrace against the wall. I giggled a bit, hearing the guy apologize. "No, it's fine," Cyr said, still gazing into my eyes.
I couldn't resist, and I kissed him. Weird thing is, he kissed me back. Harder. This ended up to a full on makeout session on his bed. We were slowly undressing each other. What was going on? This was going by so quick, it felt like.
I am Ellie Reid. I tried to killed myself, but survived. I am pregnant with a celebrities child. 
None of that stuff went through my brain as I continued to kiss his neck. Then... he did it. I started to forget about everything while yelling Cyr's name in pleasure.
I whispered into his ear with my few breathes, "Why is this so perfect?" I could tell he was smiling even with my eyes closed.
Then, it was over.

I rubbed my temple, feeling my headache because of my terrible hangover. I reached for my phone, but there was no dresser. Wait. Where was I? I didn't dare open my eyes, trying to remember last night. But the thing is, I couldn't remember last night. I blacked out. I knew I was naked someones bed. Who knows who this could be? I reached for the person beside me, praying it was Toby. Whoever it was has a really hot body. I let go, knowing that it would be impossible for it to be Toby. Worry started to show through my headache. I leaned up, opened my eyes. I braced myself at looking for who it was. Vincent Cyr.
"Fuck!" I yelled as loud as I could. Cyr woke up.
"Huh? What? I-" Cyr noticed that is was me. "Holy shit. What the fuck happened?"
"I.. I don't know!" I yelled.
I hope Cyr is nice enough to not tell Jack or Toby. Jack would definitely tell Toby.
"I'm so sorry, Ellie!" Cyr apologized.
I inhaled strongly, "No, it's fine." I looked around the room, trying to make sure of my surroundings. "Where's Toby?" I asked, worried, fearing for my fucking LIFE.
"I.. I hope he hasn't woken yet..." Cyr put on at least something, and went out to the living room to check. This would be my only time to get changed. I did so.
I was at Cyr's door, waiting for his confirmation whether I would be in deep shit, or safe.
"NO! Shit!" I heard Cyr yell from the living room.

Toby's POV - Part 17

"Okay, it went like this..." Toby began.
--
Toby's POV:
After I dropped Jamie off, I went straight to editing. Editing and editing. That was my day, I really didn't do anything else. I was sitting in my studio editing when I heard a knock on the door. My feet made their own way downstairs, being unsure of who this could be. As my hand opened the door and I saw a clear shot of who it was, Olga, I knew this might have not been a good idea since she had been making Ellie upset.
"Hey, Toby." She smiled vicariously.
I smiled back, "Olga! Whatchu' doin' here?"
She rolled the tips of her fingers back and forth along the door frame. "I wanted to apologize. I heard Ellie was upset about me."
I could almost feel the nervousness and anxiety tear through me. "Where'd you hear that?" I took a step back and Olga lazily made her own intro to the house.
"I have my ways." She laid her hand on the back of my next and I flinched at the touch of her cold hands. Olga pulled my head forward ingoing a kiss.
I pushed away as our lips were a small distance apart. "What are you doing?"
Olga smirked a devilish smirk. "I wanted to... apologize." She pulled me closer and kissed me, not letting me go. I began to ... enjoy it. But I still knew it was wrong. She drew me over to against the wall.
"Olga, I have a girlfriend." I began, laying my hand against the wall to prevent myself from falling all over her.
"Oh c'mon, you could just spend a little time with me." She grabbed my head and kissed me harder. As Olga sank down towards the floor and I followed her, she still kissed me. I didn't know if I was enjoying it or what.
"Olga, you can't just..." She leaned against the wall and pouted. "Oh, fuck it." I took off my shirt and kissed her harder. Eventually it ended up with me laying against her on the ground in the middle of the floor.
"I don't even know why you're dating Ellie..." She said between breaths of kissing me.
"Because... she needs me." I kissed her neck and looked at her face. She was grinning evilly at the window. I then glanced up and saw Ellie running away.
"Fuck!" I yelled as loud as I can and got up.
"Toby? Where are you going?" Olga said, standing up with me.
"I knew I'd fall for your tricks! I knew it, you whore!" Olga was speechless. "Get out." I said as I ran upstairs.
As my foot reached the top step, I heard the door slam. "What do I do now?" I thought. "Ellie is going to be hurt... Maybe if I act like it didn't happen..." I sat in my computer chair begging my mind to give me a plan. I slowly, but surely, grabbed my sweater and walked down the steps as I planned what I was gonna say to Ellie. I knew I had to apologize, but I didn't know how.
--
Ellie's POV:
Toby told me all about Olga. "Are you lying to me?" I said insecurely.
"No!" Toby repeated over and over again. He placed his hand on my chin and kissed me. "I'm sorry!"
I nodded, but inside I was still heart broken. "Okay." I said quietly.
After a few seconds of silence, I looked back at Toby's face and caught him looking at my stomach. When Toby noticed me catching him he apologized. "Sorry, it's just... There's a ... baby?" I could tell at every word Toby said he broke down even more.
I nodded, like I wanted this child. But I don't. I'm twenty-three. I don't need a child. I can't handle a child with my depression and Toby's fame.
"This isn't going to work.. I'm just..." Toby got up and his faced filled with anxiousness. He laid his forehead against a wall. "There's no point in getting angry or upset. There's nothing I can do." Toby told himself.
I managed to get myself onto my feet and wrapped my arms around Toby behind him. He grabbed me and pulled me close. "Whatever happens, I'll be with you."
I smiled and enjoyed the warmth in his embrace. "And I'll be with you." I was enjoying the moment when Toby placed something in my hands. It was a large gem or diamond of some sort with a marking on it. "What's this?" I said as I gazed up into his gorgeous face.
"Just know this is for you." He placed a hand on my stomach. "As long as you have this, nothing will go wrong. I promise."

A while after - Part 16

Before anyone reads this, I just have to say that I shoved an inside joke in here. You're welcome Madi and Jade.

--

Two weeks had gone by. No Toby. Trying to forget about him. My arm began to heal, but I doubt it would ever fully heal. Jamie talked them out of putting me in the mental part of the hospital. I have no idea how she did that, but she's a sweetheart. They agreed to put me through therapy session. Pure shit.

I was watching some video on YouTube when Jamie called my name.
"Ellie!" She yelled from the living room. "It's Doctor Tavos." My heart pounded at the sound of his name. What would he want?
I could feel my muscles tense up as I took slow steps through the house into the the living room. Jamie started trying to force the phone into my hands, as if she knew I didn't wanna take it. I held it up to my ear with my hand shaking.
"Hello?" I said, trying to keep my voice smooth.
"Hi!" Dr. Tavos said with his cheery voice. It made me feel worse.
I acted as if I didn't know it was him before. "Oh, hi."
"I have some news for you. You could come down to the hospital and hear it or I just could just tell you now." I was shaking. My heart was pounding.
I tried to say all that I could. "Is it good news?" Dumbass, Ellie. You're a dumbass.
I could hear him talking with a smile. "Well, you could take it that way."
I sighed and let all my worries out for a split second. "Can I just hear it here?" Jamie began walking and startled me.
From the other side of the conversation I could hear him lift up a clipboard. "Okay. From the samples we did to make sure you didn't have lead poisoning from the razor, we learnt you have something else."
What something else could we good!? What the hell? I swallowed deeply. "Throw it at me." I held my breath.
The doctor said it with such happiness. "Ms. Reid, you are pregnant."
I could feel the tears coming. No, no, no, no. No. NO. "Oh." Is that really all you can say Ellie?! Is that really all you say?
"Isn't it exciting?" Doctor smiled. At least, that's what I could hear.
"I suppose." I wanted this fucking conversation to end so I could scream and burn everything. Okay don't do that, Ellie.
"I want you to come in a few days for an appointment." I hope he's mistaken. I fucking hope.
I faked a smile in my voice. "Okay."
"Goodbye, Ellie."
"Bye."
I almost threw the phone across the room when we hung up.
"What did he say?" Jamie looked away from her computer. I leaned against a wall. I could feel my hair swish along my head as I shook my head. She closed her computer and walked towards me.
"What's wrong? What did he tell you? I'm concerned now." I just stood there.
Some mumbled words managed to escape my mouth. "I'm ... pregnant."
Jamie coughed and I could tell she was getting annoyed. "Uhm, pardon?"
I looked her straight in the eyes. "I'm pregnant, okay?" My eyes took a different direction and I crossed my arms.
"Oh my god." Jamie's eyes widened. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You need to tell Toby."
Ugh don't say that name. "No." I replied.
"Ellie. You need to."
Silence.
"Fine."
"Fine what?"
"Fine I'll go." I began walking out the door.
"Right now?"
"Right now." And I closed the door shut.

When I got there, I knew Toby was home. Editing a video or something.
I walked up to the door and could hear my heart pounding. As I walked up closer to the door, I planned on what I would say.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
I waited a few seconds then heard the door open. Toby was so surprised. "Ellie?!" He sounded happy, though. That made me happy.
I was stuttering but tried to sound happy back. "T-Toby... We need to talk. I pushed past him into the house. He sat down on the couch beside me, I could see him spotting my arm. I tried to make eye contact so he would stop.
"Toby..."
I could hear the happiness that I was with him. "Ellie... I'm so glad you're here right now..."
Not very shocked, I replied with, "Oh."
He tried to say stuff. "I-I-I-"
"Toby, I'm pregnant." Right before I cut him off.
"What?!" Toby yelled very loud.
I nodded slowly. "This is so..." I could tell that he didn't know what to think of it, exactly like me. He hugged me. "Amazing."
I hugged him back with my good arm. "I know." A smile grew across my face.
"I love you so much, Ellie. I'm sorry." Toby slowly moved closer to me and kissed me.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "I love you too."
After what felt like forever, he sat down and actually talked to me.
"Can I at least explain what happened that day?" He said.
I sighed, but nodded.
"Okay, it went like this..."

I'm just running. From what? - Part 15

I ran outside. Toby was in the front yard leaning again the house. "Ellie!" He said as he grabbed.
"Let go of me!" I screamed at him as he grabbed and held me close.
"I'm sorry for everything," Toby started, "Olga forced me into it. I swear. She seduced me." I shook my head and cried into his chest. "Please, Ellie. I love you." Toby continued to hold me.
I struggled away from his grip. "I can't do this, Toby." I ran back inside.
Sean caught me when I got back inside. "Ellie. Are you insane?" He hugged my tighter. "Maybe you should get some rest." Sean stroked my hair until he lost grip of me and I walked to my room. I heard the door slam open.
"How could you do this to me, Sean?! You know I'm in love with Ellie!" Toby yelled.
"How could you do that to Ellie, Toby? You know she's in love with you and suicidal." I heard silence, then after a few seconds the door slammed shut again.
I heard Seans shoes creep down the hallway and he slowly opened my door. "Ellie, I really need to go. I hope you get wonderful rest." I nodded. What a lie.
I continued crying in my pillow. I thought about it. The thing I haven't touched. My eyes shot open and my head shot up. My hand violently opened my dresser drawer. It's gotta be there. It has to be. What would I have done with it? It didn't even come to mind.
I tossed around all the junk that I never used. Papers, pens. That sort of stuff. I continued searching through the drawers and until I found it. My razor blade.
I sat on the side of my bed. The razor slowly crept onto my wrist. It continued doing that. I didn't keep track of the cuts. I moaned in pain. Blood. A lot of it. I threw the razor to the dresser and the blood just dripped off my arms, onto the bed, the floor, the table. Everything started going black and the last thing I remember was my name being called.

My eyes started opening themselves. I had no idea where I was. All I heard was a siren. All I saw were flashing lights.
"Ellie!" Jamie called, crying.
"What... What's happening?" That's all I could get out.
"You're gonna be okay." She talked through tears and men in blue outfits stuffed me into the back of a truck.
"She's losing too much blood! Hurry!" One of the men said as they walked away. Jamie went up into the truck, car, whatever the fuck they stored me in, and grabbed my hand tight. That was all I could remember until my vision went blurry and I passed out of 'lack of blood', as the man said.

I yawned and grabbed for my phone on my my dresser. I felt a strong pain as a metal bar and my wrist collided. Where was my phone? I opened my eyes to see a hospital room.
"Ow, fuck." I moaned in pain as I clutched my wrist to my chest. This hospital room was depressing. It smelt the disgusting smell that the hospital has. A chair stared at me from across the room with it's newly looking cushions. The curtain that was beside my bed was ripped and disturbing. There was a flower in a pot by a table beside my bed. It was wilting.
Someone ran into the room, I was too tired to tell. "Ellie!" They called. That voice was obviously Jamie.
I rubbed my eyes with left hand. "Where... am I?" I said as I yawned.
Jamie pulled the seat that was across the room up to my bed and took my hand. "You almost killed yourself." Tears welled up in her eyes as she slowly made her way up to my arm and undid the cloth that was on wrapped around to cover... whatever what was there. I couldn't remember anything except the truck-Er, EMS.
As Jamie unravelled the cloth I saw one cut. Deep. Two. Three. Four, five, six and many more. They were stitched. My arm was mutilated. I did this to me. If you think about it, Toby did this to me. She wrapped the cloth back up. "Don't touch it, there's stitches."Jamie grabbed my hand again as I looked to the left. "Surprised you never asked about Toby yet." She leaned back in the chair.
"Don't say that name. Don't fucking say that name." I thought. "Really?" I said out loud.
Jamie leaned up straight and put her legs on the chair. "Yeah. Toby came in and held your hand, praying you would wake up."
I looked around to find a clock. "When? What time is it? When did he do this?!" I demanded.
She hesitated to look at her phone. "Uhm... It's ten."
"A.M.?"
"A.M." She confirmed  and put her phone back into her pocket.
"And when did Toby come by?" I arched my eyebrows.
"Erm... Three in the morning... I think." Jamie rubbed her eyes.
"You okay?" I worried.
"I've been up with you, here all night." I looked at her in shock.
"All night?"
"All night." She confirmed again and took out her phone. I looked away. "I texted Toby that you're awake and he's on his way." Oh joy.
"Oh..." I said in sadness.
Jamie took her eyes away from her phone. "What's wrong?"
"Jamie..." I began as she concentrated on me. "Toby's the reason I'm here. He cheated on me." As I finished my sentence, Jamie sat there with her jaw open.
"I'll kill him!" She said as she stood up and paced around the room. "I'll fucking kill him! Who was it?"
I swallowed deeply. "..Olga."
Jamie almost punched a hole through the wall before she caught herself as Toby knocked on the glass and opened the door.
"Ellie!" He was about to approach me until Jamie moved in front of him.
"Get the fuck out."
"But... Ellie..." Toby had a hurt look on his face.
"Ellie doesn't need you any more, Mr. Cheatie-Mc-Cheater-Pants."
Toby tried to go past her. "Look, Jamie."
Jamie used her palm to block Toby. "Look, nothing. You cheated, now stay away from her."
Toby sighed. "She's my girlfriend. I did this and need to make it up to her."
I managed to speak with the power I had. "First of all, Toby, you made me go back into a depression. Nothing can forgive that. Second, I'm not your girlfriend anymore. Now go."
Toby slowly, but surely, nodded. "I just want to make you happy." He turned around and headed out the room.

Sean Klitzner - Part 14

I lifted my head up and saw all the eyeliner smeared onto the pillow. I've never been heart broken like this. Before I could even think, I heard the doorbell. I cried harder, leaning against the hall on the way there. My hands reached themselves along the wall before it hit the knob. The door slowly opened and I saw Sean. He noticed that I was heart broken and I fell into his arms.
"Ellie!" Sean stroked my back and walked us inside. "Tell me what happened." He sat both of us down on the couch and held me up.
I sniffed and hiccuped. "Toby..."
He looked at me with his brown eyes and put his hand on mine. "Did he break up with you?"
I shook my head in disbelief and false information. "No... but I saw..."
Sean continued to stroke my back and my head fell into his chest. "It's okay..."
My head shot up and all I said all that I could get out. "WHORE!" I yelled. "That whore!" My head regained it's place on Sean and he pulled me close.
"Who, Ellie?" My hands trembled but still took their place around Sean.
"Olga..." I wiped my eyes and looked up. My arms were around his neck and he was holding me by the waist.
"Toby cheated on you?" He let go of me and started pacing, slowly. "That fucking asshole..." Terrible time to let go of me. I needed to hold onto something so I grabbed the nearest pillow and clutched it to my chest, along with my knees in the fetal position.
By the look of it, it seems that Sean got some tears in his eyes. He walked up to me and hugged me again, forcing me to let go of the pillow. "I'm so sorry."
I shook my head. "Nothing to be sorry for." Sean whipped out his phone from his pocket and phoned someone.
"You're not phoning Toby, are you?" I anxiously asked.
He pulled it away from his ear and pressed cancel. "Yes... You don't want me to?" He placed it back into his pocket.
"Don't." I turned my head away.
I could tell Sean didn't know what to do next. "I love you..." That's the only thing he had.
I continued staring at the floor.
Sean sighed and held me closer. We just sat there in silence and never said a word for ten minutes. I curled closer until the door bell rang. I was about to get up until Sean jolted up and put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it." He walked to the door and clutched onto the pillow. It was Toby.
"What the fuck do you want?" Sean said. Toby just stood there.
He stuttered. Must've not known what he just did. "Wha-... What?"
Toby's tall figure just looked at me.
"So, how long have you been doing this?" Sean let go of the door and moved closer to the couch, where I was.
"Oh... Shit..." Toby looked me.
"Ellie won't talk to anyone." Sean gestured his hand for Toby to look at me.
Toby walked up to me and leaned over to look at me. "Ellie..." I didn't move.
"What?" I quietly said.
"...I'm sorry." Really, Toby, really?
"No you're not. Go the fuck away." I said.
He teared up. "But I love you."
I shook my head at his comment. "No you don't. You love Olga. How many times have you slept with her, then?" I looked Sean.
Toby sighed. "She forced me into it."
"Of course." I shook my head and looked away. "Don't talk to me." I didn't know what to think. My world was just ripped into pieces.
"Please... I fucked up. I'm so sorry. I hate Olga. She forced me into all of it. I'm sorry Ellie!" Toby argued.
I closed my eyes. "Say all you want. You're just gonna do it again. Now get the fuck out. Both of you. I just wanna... Just wanna be alone." I started crying again.
Sean and Toby looked at each other. "We're not leaving you like this..." Toby said.
"Toby. GET THE FUCK OUT. NOW." I yelled.
Toby shut his eyes and sighed. "Whatever makes you happy." He walked out and closed the door beside him.
"Sean..." I started crying harder. "I can't breathe. I don't wanna live anymore."
Sean ran up to me and hugged me tight again. "No, no, no. You wanna live."
I tugged out of his arms. "No, I don't." I stood up and ran out of the house.

DAMNIT, OLGA - Part 13

I lay with my face in my pillow and Toby's comforting arm around me.
"Please," Toby said as I moaned unhuman sounds, "Talk to me."
I lifted my face out of the pillow. "That fucking ... WHORE!" I screamed in his face and laid mine back down. He continued to stroke my back and thought for a second.
"...Ellie..." Toby reached his hand to the back of my pony tail and pet it.
"What the fuck do you want?" My face when inches away from his.
"I'm sorry for whatever you're angry at." He put his other hand on my cheek.
"Pfft. And I'm sorry for not respecting Olga." My face continued to be in the pillow.
Toby leaned up more. "You're jealous of ... Olga?" He stuttered.
"Yes. Of course. She's beautiful and flirting with you and look at me! I'm just some emo chick you shouldn't be dating."
Toby put his hand on the back of my head and kissed me lightly. "Stop saying this bad shit about yourself. You're sexy and beautiful. One of the most amazing girls I ever met." He continued to kiss me. A tear fell from my cheek as I did the same thing to him. The next thing we knew, we were having sex.
"Toby... Oh my god." I dug my nails into his back and he lightly bit my neck.
"You're so fucking amazing." Toby said between breaths.
"Oh my god..." I grabbed his back tighter and I'm sure he was bleeding from my nails.
"Oh my god." He echoed as we lost grip of each other and he breathed his hot breath on my neck. Toby laughed a bit. "That was intense."
"Every second I'm with you is intense." I laughed, stood up and he kissed me. I gathered up the clothing that Toby had ripped off my body and made my way to the kitchen.
"You're going the right way!" My laugh left my lips quietly as I went back to find my phone.
"That wasn't sexist at all." I giggled as my hand attacked my phone and looked at Twitter. "The Audience is so adorable. The girls on Tinychat are amazing!"
He laughed. "I know, right? I'm glad to have them." My feet dragged across the floor and I walked out of the room with both my hands on my phone. It was only, what, nine PM? Maybe I should Tinychat. I don't know, I work tomorrow at six. I'll go to bed now, I guess.


In the morning I kissed Toby goodbye and left. After work I thought I'd go hang with Jamie. She had to leave for work soon and I wanted to be with her.
"He knows me too well." We laughed around the table talking about Toby.
Jamie blushed. "And... Well I sort of found someone." She bit her lip and looked to the left.
I playfully hit Jamie's arm. "Who, who, who?!" I repeated.
"You know him and I don't think-" I cut her off.
"Tell me or I will fucking cut out your appendix." I picked up a knife and threatened her.
She pulled the, "Wow, we have a badass over here." position with her hands. "Put the fucking knife down and I'll tell you!" The knife dropped to the table again. "Crazy bitch..."
I laughed. "Sorry, I just... I should know every detail that happens in your life!"
"That's right," Jamie began, "You should!" She placed her hand on the table and started playing with the knife. "His name starts with a ... Jack!" She fangirled.
"That's so awesome!" We started jumping up and down in our seats.
Awkwardly was in the air and we both looked at out phones. 
"I have to go to work..." Jamie frowned.
I dropped my phone. "Fuck work!" I laughed. "I'll be a stripper!"
We laughed in unison. "I bet Toby would like that." And laughed harder.
I lightly slammed my fists on the table. "Did you see Toby's Valentines Day song?!" My hands touched my cheeks. "He's so hot in it!"
"So is Jack..." She began playing with the knife again.
I put my hand on hers and shoved it away from the knife. "Stop playing with sharp objects and get to work you lazy ass!" I laughed through my nose.
"But I like sharp objects!" Jamie stood up. "But I'll listen to you." I stood up with her.
"I should go too. I wanna hang out with Toby. You're boring."
Jamie giggled and lightly pushed me playfully. "Shut up!" We both walked out and got in our cars.
"Text me later, Jay." I smiled at her and she pulled out of the driveway first. I drove to Toby's house and noticed his car was there. "Yay, I won't be alone!" I thought. My door opened with the help of my hand and I slithered out like a snake. My head peeked into the window. I saw Toby... but he wasn't alone. Toby definitely wasn't alone. He was definitely laying down on the floor without a shirt... NOT ALONE.
Toby was on top of a girl and was kissing her. The girl had brown hair, that's all I could see. I couldn't get a good look at her face before the named flashed in my brain.
OLGA KAY. 
I could feel the tears fall to my eyes and the lump in my throat. I rushed and got into my car and just left home. I would confront him later, I knew it would be embarrassing if I just opened the door.
Fucking. Cheating. Lying. Bitch. Those words just raved inside my brain and all the thoughts and feelings just poured out as I made my way home and my head onto my pillow. I managed to grab my phone and tweet.
"Fuck this life. I thought I found a savior, but I guess not." Replies came piling in. One was from Sean Klitzner.
"Hey, you okay Ellie? I'm gonna come over." I didn't want him to ruin the fun time with Olga. "I'm at my apartment. Thanks." I replied back.

Fuck life.